Relationship Deep Dive
3 Fundamentals of Relationship Success
Written By: Braiden & Maeghan Belnap
Date: 4/13/22
Summary: We all have relationships. Romantic ones and just relationships with friends, family,co workers, etc. If you want to learn how to have success in your relationships this blog is for you! There are 3 fundamentals to having a strong relationship with anyone and I dive into that today.
The first fundamental to having strong relationships is being your authentic self. What does it mean to be your authentic self? Being your authentic self is knowing who you are to your core. If you don’t know who you are to your core this is another blog post that goes in depth on how to find your authentic self https://www.braidenbelnap.com/post/why-becoming-authentically-you-is-crucial When you are your authentic self you are able to know what you want in life. Knowing that helps you in your relationships with yourself and others.
After you know your authentic self the next important fundamental is “Rule vs Expectation” Expectations are RELATIONSHIP KILLERS!!! The difference between rules and expectations is that expectations are set by one person. Rules on the other hand are set by 2 people. When you have expectations of another person it causes problems in any relationship. Expectations are having the idea that another person should or will achieve something. An example of expectations: let’s say Mindy and her husband Paul are mad at each other. Paul is mad because he feels like Mindy is ALWAYS nagging him to wash his dishes. Mindy is mad because she feels like she has to pick up after him. They have both been building up anger, resentment and ill feelings toward each other which has hurt their relationship. The way to fix that is to have the conversation and LISTEN about what the rule needs to be. In this situation Mindy’s feelings could be that she feels overwhelmed and needs Paul's help with picking up after himself for her to feel some stress relief. Paul’s feelings could be that he doesn’t think it is a big deal if there's a dish in the sink because he’s planning on getting to it later. What should their rules be? I think a few good rules they could set in this situation is : It is okay for there to be dishes in the sink as long as they are in the dishwasher before bedtime. This rule gives both parties the ability to trust each other and know exactly what they need to do. This is a small example. In relationships it takes being a team. So you HAVE TO HOLD TO YOUR WORDS AND HAVE COMMUNICATION! There are going to be times where rules are broken. Having communication however can alleviate the other person's stress. So let’s say Paul isn’t feeling well and he doesn’t do his dishes before bed. He’s breaking the rule right? He’s letting Mindy down? If he chooses to communicate with Mindy and she is also open to listening he could say “Hey I know I left a dish in the sink, I know it stresses you out, I will get to it tomorrow when I am feeling better” Now this can’t be a habitual things or it starts the frustration cycle over again. Things happen in life though so it’s okay if the rule following isn’t perfect.
The final fundamental topic that is SOOOO IMPORTANT is having a strong economy. To put it in perspective a country that doesn't have a strong economy will crumble and fail. The same goes for a relationship economy. How do you have a strong economy in a relationship? It comes down to having a strong team. Having a strong team will create success. What does it mean to have a strong team? It means that you both work together financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You have to work together with your partner in order to thrive. Sit down with them and go through each of those topics individually. Finances - what are the expectations from both parties? What are some financial goals? Mentally- How does the other person need support? Physical- Intimacy is a huge part of romantic relationships. Are both partners' needs being satisfied? What are each other's needs? Emotionally- Do you both feel like you can lean on each other for emotional support? Spiritually- What does each individual need when it comes to spirituality? Is one partner spiritual? Are both partners spiritual? What are the needs of each partner when it comes to spirituality? These Are a few questions that you can go through with your partner to find out more about each other and set a stronger foundation. Having a strong economy is not only applicable to romantic relationships. It applies to any kind of relationship. You can go through and ask, Are the people in my life making me want to be stronger financially, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually? Then after seeing who is and isn’t supporting you in those areas you can decide what you want to do with those relationships.
I hope you liked today’s blog and learned something from it. I post a new blog every week. I also post positive/ encouraging messages daily on my social media. I would love to connect. I linked everything below. Shoot me a dm and tell me what you learned from reading this!
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