Written By: Braiden Belnap
Summary:There is a natural progression of relationships…single, dating, engagement and then marriage. Today we are focused on you. If you know yourself and love yourself then that will show in your relationships. Have you ever been in a relationship or just any relationship with friends or family where you felt like you forgot yourself? It is easy to stop doing the things you enjoy and focus on other people and their lives when you aren’t 100% happy with yourself or who you are. I decided to write today’s blog to help show people different ways on how they can find themselves again if they feel lost. This is for you if you feel lost and if you don’t feel lost this is a great read for you to learn how to help others if they feel lost. So with that let’s dive in…
I met my wife when I was 16 and we got married when I was 19. Now I wish I could say it was all sunshine and rainbows but our first 2 years of marriage were pretty rocky. There was a point and a peak during that time where we had a conversation that was going to determine the rest of our relationship. We were either going to end it right there or continue to work on things. Something that came up in the conversation that we both felt is that we weren’t living authentically to ourselves. We were both unhappy and felt like we lost our personal purpose outside of our relationship. We made the decision to continue to work on our relationship but the first priority was putting ourselves first and not each other. So what did that mean for us? I had to prioritize the things and hobbies that made me happy. I had to find my purpose, I had to discover who I was. My wife had to find the things that made her happy as well she had to find what she loved. What we had done was be so codependent on each other that we forgot that it is okay to do things alone and love different things and hobbies and be confident in that. It didn’t just happen overnight but we both slowly changed our habits and we became much happier people. Our relationship started to flourish and there was a huge shift.
Some of my advice for life is to never let labels define who you are. This can be applicable to any situation in life. For example, raising kids. Especially for moms this changes who they are and their responsibilities are a lot different. I am not a parent but I have seen others around me when they have kids have a hard time finding their identity or remembering who they were before kids. Kids are a huge blessing and I am excited for my opportunity to be a dad in the future but I know that Me and my wife will need to work together to make sure that we keep our own identities outside of just being parents.
Okay so now that we covered some life examples what do you do to get out of the funk of not feeling authentic to yourself or how do you help someone get out of their funk. The first step is to realize what are the areas in life that you aren’t feeling fulfilled in. Once you have narrowed down those, figure out what you can do that would help alleviate those. For example let’s say the stress is from having a messy house. What is something that can be done to change that? Something my wife and I have implemented in our life is a 2 minute rule. If something takes less than 2 minutes to clean up we do it right there and then. If something takes longer than 2 minutes then we plan it in our schedule to take care of. Once you have mastered those 2 things you should start to notice a shift in your life.
I hope you have been able to learn something from today’s blog. I share a new positive message every wednesday. I also have a podcast where I go more into depth on this topic. I would love to connect. Linked below are my social media accounts.
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