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Self Made Confidence

Updated: Jan 30

Self-Made Confidence

Written By: Braiden Belnap

Date: 7/13/22

Summary: Self confidence can be an intimidating topic. I struggled a lot with self confidence when I was younger. I felt like I had to fit in and I gave into a lot of peer pressure. It wasn’t until I sat myself down, created goals, and decided to do things that helped me be more confident. Self-made confidence is confidence that comes from within. It is self validation that you create for yourself. This is so powerful because when you validate yourself and don’t look for outside validation you become more confident in yourself and will begin to live a life that is authentic to yourself. So how do you start? The first step is to create small goals. After you create small goals you need to make small promises to yourself. The final step of this process is to have small conversations and take action. I will go in depth on each of those steps in this blog so let’s dive in…

Have you ever wanted to accomplish something but felt like it was too big and didn’t feel achievable? I have been there myself. My wife and I got married in 2018 and created a plan of what we wanted to achieve. We lived with my mom and wanted to save a downpayment for a house, pay off all debt, and have money in an emergency savings account. We wanted to accomplish all that in 2 years. The problem with that goal is it was too big for where we were at in our life at that time. My wife was a full time student who worked part time and made a little more than minimum wage. I at the time was working towards becoming a partner at a Marketing company. I was in the process of buying into the company. Because I didn’t have money upfront I worked with the owner and the sales I made counted towards getting percentages of owning 40% of that company. So because I was doing that full time but not getting paid I had to work a part time job. This job paid the bills but we quickly learned that we weren’t going to be able to save the amount of money that we wanted to in order to achieve the goals we had made. As 2020 approached closer we were nowhere near where we wanted to be which was a little discouraging. If I could go back in time and recreated those goals I would have made them smaller and more achievable. It affected my self confidence and my wife’s self confidence because we both were at a loss about the situation. We went back to the drawing board and created smaller goals that we were able to accomplish. It took us 3 ½ years to get into a house and achieve our other goals. So what can you do to create goals that are small and achievable? If you are struggling on a day to day basis and creating anything relating to the future feels overwhelming. Try making a goal of simply making your bed do that for 3 weeks then move to something bigger. If making your bed feels too small maybe taking 3o minutes a day to do something you love is a little bigger. Those are just 2 examples of small goals you could have. The goals you create are completely personal to you and should feel fulfilling.

The piece of advice I have is creating small promises for yourself. These small promises are another name for small boundaries for yourself and others. These small promises are what are going to help you be more confident in yourself because you are advocating your needs. One thing that I promised myself was that I would make sure to create a schedule and stick to it. I can still be flexible but it is important to me to have a schedule so I can achieve what I want to in a day. Having a schedule also allows me to make sure I have time to hang out with people. So take some time and find out what small promises you want to make to yourself. These promises can be with yourself like going to bed earlier. Or they can have to do with other people like knowing it’s okay to say no. You know yourself so pick a couple of promises you want to make to yourself.

The final thing I recommend you do to achieve more self made confidence is to. Have small conversations. It is human nature to be around people. We need a community, we need people. However it is important to surround yourself with people that bring you up. The people who you surround yourself with do affect you. If you feel like you are around people who are bringing you down, create a plan to spend less time with them and slowly distance yourself from them. Or if you want to cut it off quick you can have a conversation with them and say that you appreciate them in the chapter of your life that they served you in but you are a different space than them and you need space in order to grow. People who drag others down usually don’t react well to rejection and people moving on so prepare for that if you choose to cut ties. On the flip side of cutting out negativity from your life it is important to bring in the positive in your life. Like stated earlier we need a community. It is helpful to not forget the people in life that have helped you succeed and pushed you to be better as you start to achieve your goals.

I hope you have learned something in this blog. If you want help or have questions about how to implement the tools I wrote about today reacho out I would love to give you more advice. My social media is linked below. You can shoot me a dm with your question and I am happy to answer it for you. I hope you were able to learn something from this blog that you can apply to your life.

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